Question by PoohBear: Child Raising…………….?
My husband and i have been married for four years and are thinking about starting a family. i know it takes a lot of decisions from both and a lot of questions on child raising that you need you decide as a couple.what questions would be good to ask?
Best answer:
Answer by JT 1) How will you discipline your children, some people believe in timeouts and others believe in a swat on the behind still others chose nothing at all.
2) How many children do you want, and are you willing go past the agreed on number if you want a girl… or a boy?
3) How will the children be educated, home schooling (you will need discipline and patience), private school (can be costly), public schools?
4) How important are healthy foods, do you just buy what the children like or work to get variety in there as soon as you can?
5) How important are sports activities, are you enrolling them in soccer, cheer leading or family outings?
6) What kind of emphases with be placed on extra curricular classes like art, music, drama? The public schools are dropping these sort of classes.
7) Are you going to raise you children in a specific religion, culture or political view? Are you going to choose to be open about all of it?
Try to keep yourselves connected in this process so you don’t lose track of each others love… date nights and couple time should be a must )
Add your own answer in the comments!
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Allow me to give you the man’s perspective of why men leave their wives.
Hopefully this information will help you get your husband back and save your marriage with some methods that have proven success and work like magic. Realize that there is no such thing as a hopeless situation and despite the terms of how or why your husband left in the first place there is good chances to save your marriage and get your husband back. Does My Husband Want Me Back
Devastated and miserable is the lousy feeling any couple faces when dealing with a divorce or separation. You want your husband back more then anything and plead, beg, and ask for second chances, forgiveness, or even counseling.
You are desperate and willing to do whatever it takes for the sake of the marriage or even for the sake of the children and your family. This is the wrong strategy and even works counter intuitively against your efforts. In many cases it will simply drive your husband away farther from you. When you’re in this state of depression and anxiety over a separation or even a divorce proceeding, all you can think of is how do I get my husband back?
How do you get your husband back and save your marriage if all those things are the wrong method?
First allow yourself to analyze your situation clearly once you can think straight and pull yourself together. (you may be long past this point of panic already) There are numerous underlying reasons for trouble in a marriage and the list can be a daunting task to nit pick all of them. The reasons men leave can be identified in the home when the wife stops giving attention to her husband. The same is true when women are in the exact same position and their wives are starved for their attention. This is when the “Don Juan’s” swoop in and romance their women away from their inattentive husbands.
The same can be likened to a man’s position when his wife is to busy with school, work, household duties, child raising, or whatever the situation is that is denying that time with one another. Men do not get swooped off their feet by savvy women seeking to wreck marriages. The fact of the matter is this is usually an excuse for men and our bad behavior. The simple truth is most men are assertive enough to go elsewhere and seek the attention they crave when it has been turned off by their wives. They will begin affairs in some cases or in other situations simply just leave a marriage they feel has failed. This can be contributed to the lack of desire or energy to put forth any more effort in trying to be closer with their wife and just giving up.
Every situation is uniquely different and it is impossible to be specific in every case, but there is a great way to being the process of techniques and magic tricks that will get your husband back and save your marriage. How do you get your husband back when he has already pullen his attention away and has focused it on another object of his desire? What if your husband is not even interested or entertaining another relationship at all and the marriage is in trouble simply because his reasoning is there is no love anymore and he is just over it? Does My Husband Want Me Back
Using some psychological methods that can be very powerful can tell you if there is hope left to save your marriage and get your husband back. One method is an age old cliche method of playing hard to get. This works because deep down in every person we are wired so strangely that this effectively causes us all to “want what we cannot have.” It is a phenomenon in which can’t be logically assessed where a person is faced with a seemingly impossible situation, and in their frame of mind the reality has convinced them it is out of their reach. Instead of the logical choice of giving up and wasting any time pursuing an obvious impossibility, …the exact opposite happens and for whatever reason the human mind is wired, we tend to pursue what we cannot have with even more effort and conviction then before.
Using this to your advantage can be a very effective method.
You can then learn how to formulate an entire plan and learn more about how to get your husband back. At the first stages of a separation, these here are some tips on how to get your husband back in the initial break up and separation phase of a marriage. This is the strategy that will put him in the mind set of “something he cannot have” and work a few psychological tricks.
Agree with the separation Stop all contact Give him the time he needs Do NOT plead, beg, or harass and contact Be civil and be calm about it
Why does this work in the first stages? Simple… it shows the appearance of “indifference” and the illusion that you do not need him. You’re fine in fact, and can go on without him. Of course this couldn’t be any further from the truth but this technique is used to fake that appearance and pretend that you are fine. This plants the seeds of thought in his mind where a man will in most cases think to himself …”eh? how can that be? wait a second… you don’t want me?” Suddenly you may find he wants to call you or see you. Something subconsciously in fact is eating at him and he is compelled to pursue you once again. Does My Husband Want Me Back
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When smart women liberate themselves from the mainstream life they were trained to aspire to and write about what they did instead, the rest of us benefit from a serious intellectual challenge to what is touted as progress. Formerly an academic in early modern literature, Sharon Astyk whose blog I’ve been enjoying, has brought to peak oil the much needed female perspective.
And what does that look like? Think Vandana Shiva meets Barbara Kingsolver meets the Tightwad Gazette. Sharon aligns herself with the powerdown philosophy first put forth by Richard Heinberg. She gives a convincing argument of why we are not going to save ourselves with renewable technology. But more than that. She firmly reminds us, in true Vandana Shiva style, that women have been doing most of the work of life so that others can participate in the "world" and make money off the formal economy. She provides a much needed reminder that the informal economy, that mostly takes place at home with making things and growing things and raising children, is going to be moving to the forefront of our lives when it comes to the post industrial life of post peak oil. And she does it by reclaiming this traditional sphere of women’s work from a feminist perspective.
This was important to me because she points out that we did not do the world a service by demeaning this work in order to liberate women. We just gave women the keys to the men’s room, so to speak, and left this rather important work to paid minority laborers and third world sweat shops. This, so that the second half of the population could then be shifted to the high octane life of dependency on manufactured goods and services. I never did buy that life, but living in the States you have to work hard not to participate in it. I had my third world upbringing to offer me another model, but Sharon has the harder task of prying loose the modern, convenience-run family from this dependency. She meets the challenge head on by tackling the many beliefs that without a high tech, high energy life we’d be back to eating insects. This is what I find so condescending about the assumptions of the first world, but through Sharon’s compassionate eyes I get a glimpse of what it’s like for a modern woman to weigh out the costs of this high octane life. Chapter by chapter she takes on the myths of our lives that have gotten all tied up in this dependency ie: education, health care, home maintenance and food growing and preparation. Her ideas are mind expanding in a way reminiscent of Ivan Illich, but with more home grown examples.
And by sharing her life in a country farmhouse, raising four boys, she shows what this domestic life would look like. I am gratified to watch her admonish her boys for insulting the food she serves them. She is a model for child raising that I have longed to see. Yet she humbly admits all her shortcomings while sharing what she is striving for. Her book is a lesson in becoming a responsible citizen. A manifesto for domestic self-reliance as she urges everyone to start a garden.
This brings to the peak oil community a different quality of discourse. It robs it of the thrill of big solutions, of high tech wonders or policies imparted by government decree. Local government plays a role, but mostly in changing codes that do not now allow the raising of livestock in your backyard. She brings the solutions down to what ordinary people can do locally. She even argues against the high expense of a solar powered home and suggests going more low tech. Thus her peak oil vision becomes one of frugality and old time homesteading technology, which begins to look a lot like a depression era America. (And I’m prompted to call on an octogenarian friend to ask her what that was like.) This vision also robs the peak oil thrill seeker of the satisfaction of seeing the world change in some dramatic way that will fundamentally affect the way we live. No we have been here before and it ain’t anything special. You can all go home now (and make do with what you have).
The promise of abundance given in her title derives from her satisfaction in a happier, simpler life. And people do respond to this message. The only thing missing for me is some kind of intellectual payback. I’m not much for doing something because it’s the right thing to do for my kids blah, blah, not having any. If it’s just going to be about duty and obligation where’s the fun in it? For me becoming self-reliant has always been about thumbing my nose at corporations by not buying into their crap and not having to work so hard to pay for it. (And not participating in their unethical rape of the world.) This may be the end of the line for me and peak oil as a framing device. Sharon has written the definitive book about living in a peak oil world and I have nothing more to add, but by grounding it so practically in everyday living preparations she also leaves me no political context in which to express this activity as a form of protest. Just surviving an unpleasant future is not enough. Sharon does mention that the opulent way we live robs others across the world of their share of resources, but this is not a book that galvanizes the political message of anti-globalization.
When a young East Asian man at the train station, saw this book in my hand, he expressed intense curiosity about it and I told him that it was about how diminishing resources would force us to live differently, more efficiently and frugally which would be good for us—especially Americans. So for a moment there we shared our third world perspective on the fallacy of the American lifestyle and I was able to offer him an alternative position to it. If this is how the book is received by Americans, then Sharon has done good.
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That sign was part of a local event.
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